The Rev. Becca Stevens talked about truly believing the love of God for ourselves. I am not sure how much more of her sermon I really heard. I feel like I have been audibly hearing the voice of God for some time now, and this time it was coming out of her mouth instead of just popping up in my head. Somehow, I can believe the love of God for other people or other situations. These tangible, terrible, things, like disasters or cancer or a hurt foot, but then there is doubt, there is hopelessness, there is downright despair. Then, somehow, I don't really believe.
When I feel like my purpose is missing, or my joy is somehow obsolete, I can't seem to believe the love of God for me, for myself. Trust me when I say that in these times, it isn't that in these moments God's love is not enough, not sufficient, good enough for 'them', but not for me. No, it isn't any of those things. In these moments, I am not sure if I just don't feel worthy or that His love is not relevant. More than that, it is like I blame myself when these feelings, these very human, God-created feelings, surface, and therefore think that I am not worthy, not worth it, me not relevant to His love.
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